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[VioletZer0]

Just saw New Moon at the cheap seats theatre. It was a pleasant surprise.

Let's get the bad out of the way first.

-Bella Swan is a stupid, dysfunctional, pretentious whore.
-The story takes itself too seriously for something so campy.
-The writing bottlenecks the good acting talent(what little there is...)
-Sparkles!

Alright, going in expecting Twilight, I received a pleasant surprise when I began to see an interesting plot point. Bella Swan is struggling with her mortality as Edward is immortal while it is her birthday and she is getting older. What isn't helping is that basically everyone is making fun of her for approaching her inevitable death. In the process, Edward(Being the unlikeable idiot he is) decides to leave Bella Swan for her own good and disappear from her life forever. So he takes his leave throughout most of the movie(...another awesome point!) She begins to make her way towards another dashing, strong young man named Jacob Black performed by Taylor Lautner. The actor's performance is astoundingly good considering the script he is given.(With fine moments such as ''You're sick...maybe we should get you to the hospital...I will send you to the hospital!'') Jacob turns out to be a good character overall(By ''good'' I mean ''Twilight good''). Despite the fact that he can't keep his shirt on for ten minutes. Jacob is a werewolf. He is part of this Werewolf group of people who oppose Vampires as a whole. Who I like to call ''The League of Extraordinary Shirtless Men.'' Throughout the course of the movie, you will notice subtle hints that the supporting characters are actually acknowledging the fact that Bella Swan is a pretentious whore. But unwavering to the author's fantasy, the two love interests turn a blind eye to this. From the middle to the end of the movie, the interest begins to die off as Edward actually starts to become involved. However, at the last minute, it comes up with a strikingly solid ending.

Am I happy with the movie? Yes, I am glad I went to go see it. Though, since this is the author's fantasy, I am becoming concerned. She is essentially fantasizing over being beaten and abused. The Werewolves come across as violent abusive drunks. If for no other reason, it is worth seeing to observe the author's dysfunctional fantasies.

[EG NeoMorph]

Hold on... Vampires vs Werewolves... where have I heard that before... oh yeah... LOADS OF PLACES.

Why the hell can't authors come up with new crap instead of rehashed, rehashed, rehashed, rehashed, rehashed crap. Why can't it be, say, Aliens vs Vampires for example. Something new.

Actually, thinking about it, doesn't Twilight sound a lot like Roswell - The Series. Just replace the aliens with vamps lol.

[EG Haggard Spartan]

No homo...

I liked the first one, second one was all about that queah jacob kid. First one felt a little more badass, second one was to pussy.

[EG NeoMorph]

 

I can see Haggard's gravestone now... I think the same one as Winston Churchill would be just apt... slightly altered...

I am ready to meet my Maker,
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter!

p.s. 'No Homo'

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